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Hospital Bed

Lecretia and FerdinandOn Friday morning, less than two days after the end of Lecretia’s hearing, we woke and began the task of getting Lecretia out of bed to begin her morning routine. However, despite being awake and lucid, her paralysis had taken a firm grip on her whole body, and she had become as rigid as a plank, unable to bend at the waist. Her brother and I worked to lift her together, and almost had to force her to bend so that she could get into a seated position.

We took delivery of a hoist that morning but when the hospice doctor saw Lecretia at lunchtime, he said that what she really needed was a hospital bed. This was duly organised, but coming into the long weekend meant that the delivery driver got his message late in the day and no doubt had plans for the weekend other than answering calls and driving a bed all the way back to us from the Hutt Valley.

Further calls to the delivery company on Saturday morning were fruitless. One of the nurses, sharing our frustration, went above and beyond and organised for us to be able to pick up a bed from the hospital if we could organise our own transport. If that hadn’t have happened, I have no doubt we would have ended up with Lecretia needing to be moved out of her home and into either the hospital or the hospice via ambulance so that she could be comfortable, which would have been against her wishes. Lecretia’s friend Angela helped me and her brother Jeremy pick up the bed and put it in the back of her SUV. Once it arrived, it took a good hour to figure out how to put it together.

Thankfully, by early Saturday evening, and through the generosity of the district nurses pulling strings on a long weekend, we had Lecretia settled in a hospital bed in our living room, able to be elevated or moved to her side and so on.

I am not relaying these facts to be critical. I am hugely grateful that between hospice, the DHB and ourselves were able to work together to get a good result for Lecretia, but I have to admit it was pretty stressful. It would have been a struggle for someone without Lecretia’s strong support network.

Lecretia is not well. Her eyes are closed most of the time. She is having trouble swallowing. She is talking less and less. But she is facing all of this without complaint. She says she has no pain, and she has not taken any painkillers. This morning she ate feijoas, like the ones from her parents’ home in Tauranga. She is laying in her bed with a quilt sewn for her by a friend who worked with her at the Law Commission. Our cat, Ferdinand, has been sharing her bed with her, laying in her lap, or at the end of the bed.

I’ve been holding her hand and talking about holidays we’ve taken together. Things we’ve seen and done and food we’ve eaten. One of her favourite memories was floating in the lagoon at Aitutaki in the Cook Islands. I describe it to her: the sand, the smell of sunscreen, the salt in the air, the warmth of the sun and the water. The sense of our time there being lazy and long and as vast as an ocean. It makes her smile.

Sometimes she says to me ‘let’s go’. I’ll ask where and she’ll say ‘anywhere’. She wants me to get her in the car and start driving. As though her illness is tied to this place and that if we got far enough away from it she could cast it off like a veil. I wish that were true.

Every so often a tremor comes. Her whole body shakes and vibrates. The pressure of the tumour on her brain stem is causing her brain to reconfigure, to shift against itself like restless earth, causing her body to tremble, the frame of the bed shaking and rattling. And then it subsides, and she rests.

Lecretia’s choice is imminent, and we don’t know yet if she will get to make it. She’s been through a few things already that she would rather not have had to go through, but she has taken all of this in her stride and with as much grace and dignity as she can muster. Would she have chosen to go already if she’d had the choice? Surrounded by love and support like she has been, I doubt it. But she doesn’t know what is yet to come, and what she will have to endure, and that must be terrifying. I know that having the ability to make a choice about how her life ends would give her more strength to face it.

It scares me that in not having the choice she had to consider suicide because she had no certainty or control as she headed into the unknown. Because these moments we are having now are so precious and we would have lost them. I feel for those families who have lost loved ones early because those loved ones weren’t allowed to have the death they wanted.

She is facing this as she faces all things: with tremendous bravery and courage. I am so proud of her. I love her so much. I don’t know what she will ultimately choose, or even whether she will get to. But for Lecretia, it was always having the choice that mattered, not the choice itself. We are hoping for a judgement that acknowledges and respects Lecretia’s free will and autonomy over her own life; the ability to decide how she lives it and how it ends. That is all she wants.

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193 Comments

  1. It’s wonderful to hear you are not in pain Lecretia. You are such an inspiration and a breath of fresh air.
    Stay strong 😉 x

  2. So sad but what a amazing impact you all have had on so many people I will treasure what you have shared I think of you often all of you and wish I could help Love to you all xxx

    • Lucretia and those who care for her are amazing, tho the word does not seem sufficient. Thanks for sharing this with us, and the many others who suffer as Lucretia does. Having lost two dear and close friends with brain tumours, I can sympathise with all involved in this, tho I realise my feelings won’t change anything, I understand as much as one can without experiencing it personally. I sat for many hours holding my friends hand in hospital, when the only communication she was capable of was a light squeeze when I went to move. So I stayed. My thoughts to her and the loyal true friends who support her. So hard to watch.
      No one should have to endure this illness to the inevitable end.
      Inhuman…

  3. So beautifully written- thank you for sharing and all strength and love to you both from one “lady lawyer” to another. You are an inspiration.

  4. So pleased you aren’t in pain. Such a simple request with such huge ramifications for NZ law. I sincerely hope you get your wish. We are holding your hand x

  5. There is a move in the NHS towards 24/7 service. Wd should expect the same here maybe even beat them to it? You should not have had to suffer this.

  6. Wishing you peace and tranquility for these special moments together. Your strength of character will be enduring.

  7. Through adversity comes strength….thankyou for sharing your journey together I wish I could do the same publicly from my mums journey but it still hurts to think back of her journey and how she suffered and wanted it to stop on her terms…I will support the law change for voluntary choice what ever happens 💜

  8. I think of Lecretia daily… I genuinely hope for the judgement to come through quickly and that it is the one she wants… this is how it should be!

  9. All my thoughts to you and yours, Lecretia.

    Your future should be your choice, and I hope you get good news soon. In the meantime, enjoy the enjoyable moments, observe the other ones, and keep learning from all of it. (And pat Ferdinand, he sounds like a gem!)

  10. A brave and courageous lady… She is so lucky to have your love and support … You are her rock right now and I admire your strength. I wish you both love and comfort at this time and hope that all the effort to fulfill Lucretia’s wishes are worth it and she gets to rest peacefully xx

  11. Beautifully written Matt! I’m so glad that Lecretia’s not in pain. On top of all else that’s going on at the moment, to have pain as well would be just awful.
    It’s really awesome that you two have lived so much together already and can turn to your amazing memories of holidays-past to cope as things are getting tougher!
    Kia kaha,
    Sarah xoxo

  12. What a wonderful love you both share. Kia kaha and may Lecretia be able to choose when she starts her spiritual journey xx

  13. Lecretia you are so brave and glad to hear you are not in any pain…..courageous lady thank you for sharing your story with us all…..love to the family…xx

  14. Thank you for making public your plight to have freedom of choice. It’s sad that you have had to spend valuable time fighting for what you believe in. This is your time and whatever the outcome of your case, know that there are a lot of people right behind you xx

  15. Lecretia, you speak for many people and you are so courageous to follow your inner feelings. Thinking of you and hoping that you can have your wish….you are an inspiration to all of us.
    Judy Meek.

  16. I feel nothing but admiration for you and your family. I hope and pray that you get the decision you want and deserve xx

  17. My wish is that you are spared any more anxiety and the law recognises your right to determine your own future. So many people you have never met and will never meet walk alongside you on this journey and wish you and Matt love and peace.

  18. So sad following this real life story! One must be grateful that Lecretia has shared it with us because her courage will have enlightened us all in some significant way. Knowing some of what she has been through can prepare others should they be unlucky enough to suffer the same illness…

  19. Words cannot adequately say what I feel. Your courage and determination will always live on Lecretia. I hope you get the answer you have fought so hard for while you are still able to comprehend it, and if you still desire, to take advantage of it. It is comforting to know you are free from pain and able to share such fond memories with those so dear to you. My wish for you is that you continue to remain pain free and able to communicate with your loved ones till your time comes. Go gently on your journey. This world is a better place for having had you in it. Love and strength to your family.

  20. I so feel your pain. We lost our precious dad far too early from a brain tumour. All the symptoms you have described takes me back 10 weeks ago. It’s all so very raw.
    You are so brave the both of you. Hold each other, tell her everything. There are things, when I think back that I wished I had said, but the grief and sadness was tearing me apart.
    Wrapping my arms around you both to give you big hugs.
    M x

    • I have had a brain tumour removed but I have just had a brain scan and our doctor said my head appears to be okay. I need to see a specialist to check the results and find out if I can drive again. It has been 1 year 3 months since this debacle began. I so feel for Lecretia and Mark, I am glad she is not suffering to much and I certainly wish her all the best for the results from the high court. Lots of hugs and love are shared with you. I also know that it is the partners and family that are hurt so much. At this moment in time I have much to be thankful for.

  21. The tremendous love that you have for one another is beautiful. You are an inspiration and reminder to us all that we should fight for the right to choose to end our life when we know how difficult the road ahead will be for us and our loved ones. Although you cannot see us, there are thousands of us that believe in you and are with you in this. xx

  22. You are a brave and courageous, lovely lady with a loving supportive husband and family. You have given many inspiration and I wish you all the very best in your journey and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story.Always in my thoughts.
    Tracy

  23. Hi Matt

    I testified via affidavit at Lecretia’s hearing last week, countering the Care Alliance’s evidence. I’ve been laying low on social media out of respect to Lecretia and you and your family. This post appeared on my Facebook feed, something I seldom look at, so seeing it compelled me to let you know how privileged I felt to add what little I could to Lecretia’s case. She is a wonderful, courageous woman and I cannot imagine how it must be for both of you to be going through this – though I have met neither her nor you, I am deeply moved by your experience. How much I hope for Lecretia’s wishes to be upheld by the court’s decision. My thoughts are with you.

    Warmly

    Philip Patston

  24. You certainly are fighting the fight. Bless you and yours and may this fight be not in vain. Kia kaha

  25. Thankyou both for sharing your journey it is heartbreaking.A timely reality check for us all.God bless and be with you.

  26. Lecretia you are an amazing woman and the impact you have had is incredible. I am amazed how many people are now talking about their choice to decide. May you rest easy while you continue your great fight. With much respect

  27. What a wonderful gift you have, Matt for sharing what you and Lecretia are going through. Your updates are truly beautiful but immensely sad as well. I do so hope that Lecretia’s mission is successful but in the meantime may she continue her journey free of pain and knowing that her loving husband and thousands of New Zealanders are there right by her side. xx

  28. Lecretia so sad to hear of your decline. Fingers crossed that the court outcome you seek will find in your favour this week. My heart bleeds for you. Much love xx

  29. Matt and Lucretia:
    Kia kaha korua! Your steadfastness to what you hold to be a basic human right is both endearing and inspiring. I’m heartened at how the New Zealand public have rallied to your cause and the amazing support you’ve received to date. May the outcome of the situation you face be a positive one.

  30. Even if you don’t get your “wish” you have raised awareness and brought the issue to the fore.
    My thoughts will be with you and your family while you fight this battle for yourself and on behalf of those who wish they could.

    “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are nothing compared to what lies within us”

  31. Heart wrenching account of what someone must go through due to not having a choice. We choose everything else in our life and when to end it in these circumstances is also giving someone a chance to keep their dignity. I am a funeral director and so many people have wanted to go at their choosing rather than decline slowly and often bear pain they could have avoided. I hope you get the right decision, but either way you are amazing for trying on behalf of others too. Thank you.

  32. No matter what the immediate outcome, the awareness that has been raised around this issue by you will pay dividends for others Im hoping. So sad to hear this news today and will be thinking of you and yours over the next few days and no doubt weeks to come. God speed.

  33. All my thoughts to Lecretia and family; may you get your wish granted. You are a very courageous and inspirational lady

  34. This is the bravest, most insightful and loving piece of writing I have read about choice, I am sending love to you both in your journey x

  35. Lecretia you are an amazing lady and an inspiration to all, I hope you get your wish. Have been thinking of you and your family and how strong you all are. Sending love to you all.

  36. I am very deeply moved by your writings.My own father passed from the same cancer at a young (ish) age. I cant stop a very emotional uprising.

  37. What an amazing husband you are to this beautiful woman fighting til the end. Hope her legacy will help others. So proud of you both.

  38. Gosh, I’ve been following Lecretia’s battle since I first heard her talking with Catherine on 9 to noon some weeks ago.
    It’s stunning life can deteriorate so quickly and so cruely ..
    I lost my Dad and my Mum to cancer and totally understand why Lecretia fought to make herself heard with the goal of being able to make a choice.
    Our law is barbaric.
    You are an amazing friend/husband and I really feel for you and your family.
    All my love Carol x

  39. Having had a daughter with cancer, I can completely understand your stand on passing with dignity, my daughter is still alive and trying to enjoy living even though she’s still in pain every day, another call for the use of medical marajuana, which helps her cope, all the very best!

  40. I read your latest story firstly through the stuff website and finally through your own blog which gives more detail. I am astounded from what I have read in relation to what you have all had to go through in these past couple of days in order to get a hospital bed back to your residence. It’s one thing to have deliveries outsourced, but there should always be some form of backup to ensure such things as deliveries of hospital beds (especially) be completed and setup without family having to go through any other forms of pressure as you guys did.
    I do not know Lecretia or any of her family, but may I pass on my best wishes to all concerned and hope there is a speedy outcome from the court that will fall in favour of Lecretia’s wishes. Above all and everything else, individuals must be respected as to what sort of outcomes one wants in these situations.
    Kia Kaha Lecretia.

  41. My love and prayers are with you both. Matt take care of your self too. I went through this 4years ago with my darling husband 62 yrs old. If you need someone to help through the night so you can catch up on sleep district nurses can arrange a reg nurse free for you. The district nurses are angels. Love and hugs to you both xxx
    Diana

  42. Floating in the lagoon at Aitutaki in the Cook Islands. My late husband and I have also had the pleasure to do the same thing. I hope this is what you are thinking about all the time, peace, tranquility, blue seas, eating baby coconuts, white sand and the warmth of the sun on your body and the joy of being with someone you love.

  43. It is a privilege to have known Lecretia for a little time…wonderful people like you Lecretia have an impact on those whose lives you touched even briefly.
    Go well, you are in my thoughts every day and I send loving thoughts for you to do as you wish.

  44. Wow so brave and with such dignity , blessings to you Lecretia , may you be allowed to go peacefully . So much love to you , her family. Such sadness but what an amazing woman to have had in yours lives . Know that so many of us that you do not know have shared tears and affirmations for you all x

  45. Thank you for sharing your journey. It brings back so many sad memories of when my mum passed but also wonderful memories of a beautiful soul. Kia kaha Lecretia xx

  46. I sincerely hope and pray for both you and Lecretia to be at peace with this horrible disease. It is most certainly an horrendous waiting game and the choice to depart should indeed be our own, Rachael

  47. Lecretia & Matt
    Thank you for taking on this challenge for those who couldn’t , or wouldn’t. What you are doing by raising the level of consciousness around the simple personal choice on the right and dignified time to pass, has complex overtones for others , society. I believe we are really not truely aware of what we would do unless put in the same position. I think you are both inspirational. Be strong
    Ruth

  48. I have no words, apart to say I am thinking of you both and praying for the best possible outcome. I’m so happy to hear that you’re not in pain Lecretia. I hope you can both take some comfort that you’ve raised public awareness of this, and perhaps set the wheels in motion so that others may not have to undergo a fight like this. Much love and best wishes to you. xx

  49. My thoughts are constantly of you going through this tough time, I saw my husband through this & it was so unfair.
    Thinking of you all.
    Lois Thurston.

  50. You are an amazing woman who has inspired me beyond any realm… Your bravery and decision to stand up for the choice we all deserve to make as human beings gives my heart hope. I send my biggest hugs and support to both you Lecretia and your beautiful friends and family xx

  51. Lecretia – I wish for you the gift of choice – and the ability to make a choice for yourself – you are so strong of will and of heart – I hope you find the comfort you seek – Annie x

  52. Lecretia you have constructed a wonderful legacy – your story, your braveness, your ability to reach beyond your strength to fight for your rights will be remembered by many and inspire others to do the same.

    They say we die three deaths, the first when our heart stops beating, the second when we are laid in the ground, and the third, sometime in the future when our name is spoken for the last time.
    Please know that your name will be spoken for many years to come as an inspiration to other young women to reach above and beyond – to fight for what they believe is right.

    When you are ready, young lady – peace be yours.

  53. My thoughts are with you both at this very sad time. Having gone through this with my mother with the same type of tumour I feel for you both. xx

  54. Thank you for the sharing. Even strangers like myself are with you in spirit. So good to see your cat on Lucretias bed, they know when
    they are needed.

  55. I think you are both amazing. Lecretia for bravely battling not just your own illness, but campaigning for a choice I believe we should all be entitled to in similar circumstances. And Matt for bravely undertaking your own battle, setting aside your own fears and grief to be a voice for your beautiful wife. My thoughts are with you both and I am sorry that two people as special and devoted as you are in this situation.

  56. Matt, you both are an inspiration. To just be able to talk about the good times you have had together must give you both comfort. Treasure those memories.

  57. Hi Lecretia & Matt,
    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this added stress to try and attain these important rights, for not only yourself but all the others that will sadly follow after you suffering unnecessarily.
    Matt, you and your helpers are amazing, as being at home when you are so unwell is so much better I believe for your loved one but it is a huge sacrifice and so unselfish. I wish you both peace as the days pass and strength to get though them together. Love is truly amazing and you clearly love one another. Bless you both and good luck. x

  58. What a truly and amazing person you are Lecretia,we have been following your journey all the way, our thoughts and love are with you and your family, am glad you are feeling no pain, may God Bless you!!

  59. Thank you Lucretia for your bravery and inspiration. It is the right for you to choose which is important.

  60. To have the strength to raise awareness of such an important issue at such an emotive and sad time takes immense courage – thinking of you both every single day – all our love Penny & Brian

  61. Hi Lecretia, my name is Rodger and my wife Tania has a stage 3/4 Glioma. We are very proud of you and your tower of strength husband. Be strong, we are with you all the way. You have given us strength in our own plight to fight this ugly thing.

  62. What a remarkably brave lady you are. I hope that you have a peaceful departure. Know that thousands are praying for you and your devoted husband.

  63. KIA KAHA Lucretia and for your beloved. He writes so strongly of his respect, concern but ultimately his love for you. We too wish that you are granted the judgment you are fighting for.

  64. My husband and I are travelling on a similar journey to you both. He has CNS Lymphoma with an inoperable brain tumour that has not fully responded to treatment. We don’t know what lies ahead, but whatever that and whenever it is, we want to enjoy and make the most of our time being together. We have thought of you both often and anxiously await the results of Lucretia’s hard work in her fight for her choice. Thank you both so very much for generosity in sharing your journey. Much love and blessings to you both.

  65. Lucretia you are such a strong woman and an inspiration to us all. I pray that the judge finds in your favour. Kia kaha to you and your whanau.

  66. Our thoughts are with you. You are an amazing and beautiful woman who is truly an inspiration to all!! Your story has touched my heart and I will always remember your bravery and strength. Xx

  67. May your time together draw you both closer, the love you clearly have for each other is precious and immense. Love and light on your journey. Xx

  68. I’m so pleased to read that you are not in pain at this stage and nor would anyone hope that you ever get to suffer. You are an amazing lady and I don’t think there is anyone following your journey that would disagree. I hope you get the decision you have been fighting for but sadly I fear that you won’t. Stay strong lovely lady, I have never met you but you have touched my heart with your story. Thank you for this blog and my thoughts are with you both, God bless.

  69. You are an inspiration to all of us…may you have a peaceful painless journey – I hope you get your wish to do what you want with your body and mind. Thoughts are with you all…

  70. Sending you both love and my upmost respect. I have been reading all about you and just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts.I do not know either of you but have a huge amount of admiration for you both.
    Take care always.

  71. Hi Lecretia,

    You probably don’t remember me but we worked together at Kensington Swan many years ago. I have been inspired (from afar as I now live in Helsinki) by your intellectual strength to undertake this cause and hopefully it makes Aotearoa a better place.

    Kindest regards
    Karl Upston-Hooper

  72. You are an amazing husband with an equally amazing wife my love goes to you both god bless you both

  73. It is hard to know what to say or indeed to read this through the tears but I hope you both know there are so many people thinking of you and we are in awe of your love and courage.

  74. What a wonderful inspirational woman….with THE most wonderful supportive husband. You are both in our thoughts and our prayers – you two have done so much to draw the public and our politicians attention to the need for a law change to give people options and dignity – the right to chose. Lecretia, you will leave a wonderful legacy for others. God speed beautiful lady, your courage knows no bounds x

  75. Thank you for sharing. What an amazing lady you are Lecretia. Prayers you you and your family. Xxxx

  76. What an Amazing Lady and Husband I know what you are going through I did the same for my Daughter-In Law in London xxxxxxxxxx

  77. God bless you both its with such sadness I have watched your struggle and my heart goes out to you both I hope a decision can be made for you and for everyone else in the same situation .. thankyou for sharing your journey.god bless

  78. Dear Lecretia,
    Your dear soul partner Matt is keeping us posted with how your doing. Thanking you both for sharing your extensive public journey and courage to try and make a change in our system whilst suffering so much……… Its seems to me that you HAVE made a difference, even if the courts don’t agree with your request. No efforts of extreme consequence are ever in vein…..I think that at the end of the day general consensus is that when human or otherwise, suffering excessively we should have the right to take our own life whether we need help or not……. may you be released with dignity and love and know that we all love you very much. You’re an amazing women that has shown us all that we must continue to follow your determination to make the law change…… God bless you from the bottom of my heart…. WE are only here for a short time and I believe the freedom of all your suffering will end with a brand new beautiful awakening in a way that you could only dream of. May your husband be able to find his own strength without you. Love Love Love. ……Leigh XOXOX

  79. Thinking of you Matt. This has been such a huge journey. Much love and kia kaha. Kate Webber (Spence)

  80. Firstly, I would like to thank you both for sharing your story and yet I wish that it was not your story…we all take the moments of our lives for granted and believe that we will have all the time in the world.

    Sometimes some of us don’t. And I wish with all my heart that your story was different.
    But it’s not…it is what it is, and so I wish that the moments you have left together are ones that continue to be filled with the deep love you share…

    Most of all, Lecretia, I wish that you get your wish granted and you get to choose your moment to leave. You are truly extraordinary….and so many of us are thinking of you …love, Bev

  81. Lecretia and Matt you are both strong and courageous. I hope and pray that the Judge is the same and agrees with your wishes – that is gives you both the decision you have so hoped and fought for – tomorrow, so that you know your fight was fruitful. And when the politicians decide they have the testicular fortitude to do the same, – in the only sensible and compassionate decision they can come to – that your name, somehow, bears the appropriate legislation….Kia Kaha to you both and Lecretia you will always be remembered for this – no matter what happens.

  82. What an amazing lady you are Lecretia and to know that you are surrounded by your loving husband, family and friends, must make you feel so loved. No one should have to suffer the way you are and we should all be entitled to make a choice……my thoughts are with you and your loved ones

  83. I just want to send you my love. I hope the decision from the court comes soon and I hope its the outcome you wanted. I lost my brother n law to brain cancer he said he wished you had the choice to go when your ready. Sending you love and strength .

  84. Hoping you will get excellent support from the hospice team, peaceful time with your nearest and snuggles with your lovely cat.

  85. Lecretia, you, your husband and family are an inspiration. Your life will not be in vain – it has made so many of us aware that we too may one day face the very same situation but even worse, not have the loving support. Thank you sincerely. Your time is precious, each day a bonus. You will leave a very positive and lasting memory.

  86. You and your dear family are so much in our thoughts.Shariing and striving in your hours of need selflessly sharing the hope that others may have a choice in their time of need as you so tightly should have. You all are so much in our thoughts the love of your family and special pussycat who like us feels your pain.Your very much in our thoughts and our prayers xxxxx

  87. My love, thoughts and prayers are with You Matt, your darling Lucretia, your family and friends. Such a devastatingly sad time for you and I hope for a painless release for Lucretia, a beautiful soul who had touched our hearts. Kia Kaha. xoxo

  88. And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
    Bear you on the breath of dawn,
    Make you to shine like the sun,
    And hold you in the palm of His Hand
    For to His angels He’s given a command,
    To guard you in all of your ways,
    Upon their hands they will bear you up.

    Blessings and prayers that you may not suffer Lecretia. Prayers for Matt and family.

  89. The real choice in dying as in living is to surrender to the journey and find love in each moment. Every moment counts. Arohanui Lecretia, Matt and whanau.

  90. Lecretia, Matt and family,
    my heart goes out to you all, please feel the warm and loving hugs I have been sending for weeks, as you have all been in my thoughts every day. My hope is that Lecretia will be granted what she has asked, and will be able to freely make her choice, whatever that may be. I have the greatest respect for all of you. I have followed this because Lecretia’s choice would also be mine. Hugs from my heart.

  91. My heart breaks…… it should be everyone’s choice to decide what the end should look like….. Kia Kaha

  92. I don’t know how to write how your words made me feel or how much pain ye can be feeling. it’s heartbreaking what ye have to go through. We are all virtually holding your hand giving you strength that you can also give your beautiful brave heroine of a wife. She’s an inspiration I wish ye didn’t have to go through this to be parted so cruelly so young. but what a fight she has done fighting to change laws and the choice for others suffering the same fate as hers. may love and light surround ye. Kia Kaha

  93. My heart goes out to this family, her friends, her parents, inlaws, work colleagues and Her Doctor, nurses, oh so many people that are there to help Lecretia and Hubby. I do hope they get their answer from the Court and it is a positive outcome. What an inspirational story . Much love to you all Pam

  94. It encapsulates everything that Lecretia has fought for. Now that they face the hard end of the battle Matt quite rightly is having to consider the short-term future without the certainty of a High Court ruling. Aroha nui ki a korua

  95. I lost my brother to brain cancer 2 years ago and I have to say I am sorry u all have to go threw what we did I wish he Had died with dignity and respect but terminal cancer doesn’t have respect I am sorry to hear of Lucretia I hope you all get thru this tune together so one day u wil look back and know your love for her was so so good Kia kaha -Sarah Edmonds

  96. Dear Matt, dear Lecretia – you are both often in my thoughts. I send you love and strength as you travel side by side, sharing these precious moments. Much love from AliG xxx

  97. Your strength through all of this has shown such courage. You are surrounded by so much love and I hope that your last days are peaceful💜 You have really touched my heart and I send hugs and kisses to you, your lovely husband and family.💕

  98. What an amazing Lady. Not only fighting for herself but for every New Zealander. Being able to choose the right way on our demise. When our animals whether a Zoo or Pet is badly suffering a trained or qualified Vet puts them to sleep. Why as humans is there so much controversy?? We all should be able to choose, have it written in our Wills that when we are unable to choose for ourselves, our Lawyer and our Doctor should be able to put us to sleep. Love and Best Wishes to all your Carers’, Husband, Mother, Father and Friends.

  99. What an inspiring couple. Yes Lucretia is incredibly brave but so are you. Your love and devotion is humbling. May whatever time you have left together create more wonderful memories and special moments. Keep being the knight I am sure Lucretia see’s you as.

  100. U are so very beautiful Lecretia, inside and out. I pray for an outcome befitting your courage. Bless u and yr husband who loves u enough to help u with yr wishes. Xx

  101. I don’t know you Lecretia but love you for what you have done to try and help yourself and potentially others. Kia kaha. Matt, you’re a bloody legend!

  102. Great news that so many people helped to ensure the hospital bed was delivered for Lecretia. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal journey, for bringing awareness to the community / country, and for being so brave in your resolve and convictions. We can only hope that those making the milestone decisions in your case, and inevitably for the many others who are bravely suffering, will be understanding and make the right decision. Having recently gone through something similar with one of my sisters I can totally relate, and my heart goes out to you both. Totally support you. Very best wishes.

  103. My love & thoughts go out 2 u lecretia, u really r an inspiration 2 all & i hope the decision comes 4 u today so u can hear what change u will hve made in alot of ppls lives! My Heart goes out 2 ur strong & brave husband who has so much strength & heart, i just can’t comprehend what u must b going threw but the love u show 4 ur beautiful wife is sooo heartfelt!! Stay strong & gud luck & bless you all. Xxx

  104. Lecretia is strong beyond belief. And courageous. And beautiful. And so are all those who care for her. How inspirational is this life? Beyond words. Kia kaha to you all xxx

  105. What a wonderful gift you share with us – the gift of love, caring and compassion. I truly pray that you both will get the help you need when the time has arrived. rest assured that many, many people think and pray for you and your family.
    lots of love
    emil

  106. A very strong and tender woman. May your heart and soul forever be remembered throughout your fight for all who need thee ability and freedom to choose a dignified ending of pain and suffering Xxo

  107. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. May the Universe guide the court to acknowledge and respect Lecretia’s free will and autonomy over her own life, especially how it ends. Kia kaha koutou maa.

  108. I recently watched my dad pass away, with the open assistance of the District Nurses in our hometown, with the minimum of pain and suffering. It was termed palliative care, but I have no doubt that it was in fact an assisted choice to die at that time. The fact that these wonderful nurses have no legal right to do what they often end up doing, is a real shame. My mother and I have talked about the day that Dad died, where the nurses came and washed him, and moved his arms and legs into a more comfortable position, made an adjustment to the 24 hour medication pump he was on, telling us very pointedly not to ‘go any where, because it will happen very soon.’ We believe that they increased his morphine at that point, knowing full well that it would shortly end his life.

    If you do not get the decision you are hoping for, I hope that you find that Lecretia may be aided through her final days in this manner. It is a respectful, dignified and gentle way to die, and even if it is not acknowledged within the laws of the country at present, it is still a reality. No one should have to suffer agony at the end of their life, when we know that appropriate and powerful sedation is available.

    Thank you both, Lecretia especially, for the courage and openness in bringing this topic to light. For far too long now doctors and nurses have been forced to take the law into their own hands and end the suffering of those who are so close to death. Why can we not dignify their empathy and courage by admitting it, and accepting that it is simply what has been done for centuries in many different ways? Why not make legal what is already an established fact, and in so doing, ease the terror and desperation of those who are facing an uncertain, and potentially agonising death? The outcome is unavoidable – so why are we still forcing people to go through hell in order to get there?

  109. I’ve worked in Pharmacy for more that 45years. As the years have gone on and I see the sickness and crippling diseases that young and old people get and feel as you do for Lecretia. Our world is so wrong I wish to God that the health system would let our people and loved ones go with dignity. I and my sisters sat and watched our mum pass and it takes its toll on everyone involved. Stay strong Lecretias family the road is so long and hard, I wish you well and a smile and kiss for you Lecretia you have been so strong.go with all the love of the caring people in our country xxxxx

  110. What can I say after all the other comments that have been written. Thank you so much for sharing and fighting so hard for what you believe in. It bothers me that you have to fight to die with dignity, I so hope it is not in vein. My thoughts, prayers, (and warmth of my heart) are with you all that face the loss and grief including you to Lecretia.

  111. No one has the right to make choices for you – it is purely personal. I only hope she gets her wish in time – this is so cruel on Lecretia and her loved ones.

  112. Thanks for taking an action against the NZ Government – what you do, you do for all of us. I weep when I read of your bravery.

  113. I support Lucretia’s right to complete her life cycle in accordance with her own wishes, as I do any human beings right to decide how they will leave this world at their end. I do very much hope the decisions runs in her favour. If not, Lucretia there may be some very small comfort in knowing that your fight will be part of the process of desensitisation of this issue as we move forward. I believe that eventually others will benefit from your struggle. Peace and love to you and your family Lucretia.

  114. The thing is she does not appear to be suffering, she stated that she is not feeling pain despite not having pain medication. It is amazing what the body is capable of when having to ease itself into death. I know it must be very hard for the family to watch, but if this is about comfort at death then there is no need for her to choose to die as she seems comfortable. It is a very dangerous thing for a law that allows death to be planned as many will start to feel obligated to die when they become a burden. Life is about the struggle and the will to live and the lessons we gain from it. When we die, we are gone once and for all and there is no possible way to come back from that and have any more experiences such as that loving squeeze of the hand of a loved one.

  115. I know precisely how you feel holding Lecretias hand one can only guess how this brave lady feels.I would say comforted.Stay with her and blessings for you all.

  116. Sending love and strength your way,
    I would love to see nz change the law on utheniashia no body should suffer or die alone
    God bless

  117. Such Courage and Dignity in adversity!
    Such Love – between you as a couple, and of life itself.
    Such Beauty in your writing, Matt.
    Such Respect from so many thousands of us to you both, Lecretia and Matt.

    Most of us wish to leave this world having ‘made our mark’, but not many of us are sufficiently gifted to do something as great as you in mounting this legal challenge about human rights, both to clarify your own legal situation right now but which may in future also benefit all of NZ. What an inspiration!
    Go well and peacefully, Lecretia, I so hope your ability to choose is affirmed quickly. Thank you <3
    And in future: good grieving, Matt, and family and friends. With Love, Beth

  118. My thoughts and empathy are with you both. I think you must be a wonderful man also to love and support Lucretia the way you do and hope for her that she is given the choice and does not have to continue to suffer the way she is. That she can leave with the obvious dignity she has. She is also extremely courageous and an inspiration. Arohanui, Kia Kaha, Joanne Donnell.

  119. Wow! What can one say when you are both sharing so much that should be private a intimate. You shouldn’t have to begging through this. I hope some good comes of this and the debate is raised again and a humane and sensible outcome is reached. Go to that happy place…Aitutaki in warm clear water and vivid blue sky. Pass over peacefully knowing you are loved and by family and friends and respected by a nation

  120. Dear Matt
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts .we all send you loving thoughts to help you through the coming days of this gut wrenching time you are going through. Never stop talking to your sweatheart she will hear you even if she doesn’t look as tho she does- in her head she will be answering you . I know this for a fact. Stay strong xxxx

  121. I admire Lucretia so much. Fighting my own cancer battle I also strongly believe in your life your choice. All the best over the coming days

  122. What a truly amazing woman you are Lecretia and you have an amazing husband. I hope you get to see what you have fought so hard for come true before your time comes to an end. You have allowed so many people to share your journey and shed a tear for you. Thank you for allowing us to do that. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

  123. Thinking of you both, I am glad Lecretia has such a wonderful husband by her side during this time.

  124. You both are enduring a special journey. Matt I have been on your journey and my husband on Le Cretias the hospital bed issues rang a bell. No matter what decision is made please enjoy every moment as you seem to be doing. Your moments together are so very precious. Ensure you share all that you want to. My husband never had pain either life for all was very tough but we look back and think what a priviledge it was to be present as his life’s journey ended. Take care. Kia Kaha

  125. Your journey has touched us greatly. We hope the journey to come is spent with your loved ones & you are pain free. Hugs to you all xxx

  126. One very brave lady I am full of admiration. If Lecretia does not get her wish hopefully she has gone a long way toward helping another who may find themselves in the same situation. My thoughts are with her and her wonderful supportive family and friends.

  127. Sending much love your way…..an inspiration….a heart wrenching journey of courage, strength and determination! Kia Kaha to your beautiful family…xxxxxxx

  128. The courage and strength you have both shown is inspiring. I trust your fight for the right to choose will not be in vain. And I hope you are able to feel the love and concern so many feel for you Lecretia, that you will be free of pain,
    and that your final journey will be peaceful. Matt you are truly a wonderful
    man, stay strong.

  129. You are such a wonderful couple and family only wish there was something I could do to help. Pleased to hear your not in pain Lecretia, keep dreaming of all the lovely holidays you have had together, your lovely friends and may your cat cuddle you always , loving thoughts to you all.

  130. hi lecretia my name is Andrea and Ithink ur so brave and strong and wish for 1 million Angels to watch over you.

  131. Lecretia you are a beautiful and amazing lady, with loving and very caring family around you. I pray your wish comes true for you. Thank you family for sharing this very special time with us all.

  132. I was thinking about you all last night. I hope that Lucretia, does indeed, have a choice.

    Love to you all during this difficult time xo

  133. My heart goes out to you Lecritia and your whole family. The beauty of your smile, your out look on life and the courage you are showing is of the most outstanding and highest order. Words cannot adequately describe the deep thankfulness I have Lecretia for you bringing your case before the courts. Only you could have managed this and pleaded for humanity in your situation. The Medical Professional Body has not told the public the truth about their Medical inadequacies to help in certain terminal Medical conditions. I pray this Judge will exercise deep compassion to help you in his Judgement.

  134. Thank you or sharing. It’s beautiful. What an inspiration you Lecretia. Prayers & hugs to you both xx

  135. This is a remarkable story. I am a nurse in neurosciences and have seen patients in a comparable situation on many occasions. I wish those against what Lecretia has asked for would recognize the difference between quality and quantity of life. I have had patients’ relatives as if there was anything which could be done to speed things up as their loved one would never have wanted to be in a totally dependent state. I have heard anti assisted end of life suggestions of “terminal sedation” to ensure comfort but not kill the patient. This is simply going to put a patient into the totally dependent state they wish to avoid.
    The legalization of assisted death isn’t going to make it compulsory. After all homosexuality and smoking tobacco are legal but you don’t have to do either of them.
    The law should be changed. Lecretia’s decision to go to court is courageous. I hope the court grants her the right to make the choice and she gets to hear this.
    We have a good palliative care system in NZ but that can’t do everything. People should have the choice Lecretia has asked for.
    How about a referendum on assisted death rather than a new flag.

  136. We are all proud of you. What an amazing woman you are…and what an amazing man you chose to share your journey. Thankyou for sharing. Kia kaha. X

  137. As a 12 year old, I held the hand of someone very close to me everyday, watching them die of brain cancer… The two weeks before passing were horrendous for us both… Please let there be peace and less suffering for everyone who must endure this.

  138. You have made a difference to us all. For once the “choice” is being openly discussed everywhere. Thank you so much xxx arohanui to you both

  139. Hi Matt. As Lecretia’s end draws ever closer you need to also be assured the love and moral support of a Nation will walk beside you every step of the way and beyond the inevitable. Lecretia is a brave and courageous lady who has been most fortunate to have had you by her side. Your joint decision to share your lives and journey with the world is the ultimate gift to mankind. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I like many others on here also know what it is to care for and support a loved partner through their end journey. I wish you both peace and comfort for whatever time you may have left together on this earth. Lecretia will leave a legacy that will continue to live on well beyond our lives – The right to choose – A Nation salutes you.

  140. Have just seen the news that you have been given the court ruling and it will be released tomorrow afternoon. I so hope Lecretia has won her fight for the right to choose. Blessings, Love and light to you both.

  141. Matt and family,
    My heart weeps for you all, for a battle bravely fought.
    Cherish the memories, for they will last forever.
    Recall it as often as you wish, a happy memory never wears out.
    Much love to you all.

  142. Sincere and Heartfelt condolences to you all.
    Those we love don’t go away,
    They walk beside us every day,
    Unseen, unheard, but always near,
    Still loved, still missed and very dear.

  143. To Lecretia in Spirit and to Matt and Family,

    Lecretia you were a Blessing to your family and to Humanity. Your courage is inspirational in the face of such adversity and the caring and love of your family for you at this very important time of your lives is a shining beacon for all of the Human race. Your fight will not be in vain. There will now be a momentum within this Country of ours like never before to have the right to choose our ending. Every human being should have that right. Lecretia has shown her deep concern and compassion for Humanity by bringing to our attention her personal fight in our Legal System for a matter so fundamental for us all, the Right to Choose an end to suffering. Thank you Matt and Lecretia for sharing your journey with us all. You have confronted an issue many have not really considered. Thank you so much Beautiful Lady for your compassion. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your ‘Special Angel’ Lecretia.

  144. It’s now been over a year since my Dad passed away after suffering from prostrate cancer and everything that comes with that. Your story has reminded me of Dads end, which was truly special in some ways but also horrific. He suffered. My brother and I, and our stepmother watched, loved and cared. He asked us to end it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am again motivated to support a change so that we may all have the choice to die with dignity.